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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Its Easter Weekend!

Happy Easter everyone! Hope all is well!

Yesterday I passed Summer off to her relatives for a 9 day visit! It was supposed to only be for 5 days (or so I was told). However, I was pretty sure the visit would get extended, and it did. I'm happy for Summer and her family. I will get to see her on the 11th though. I can't wait to kiss her!!! I can't quite figure out how I feel this time. I kind of feel empty, I guess. I feel like something is missing. I am not really sad but I'm not really happy either. Its kind of like I feel there is something I need to be doing but I don't know what. Maybe this is what adjusting to a new reality feels like. For over 3 months now I have not had many minutes to myself, unless she was sleeping. So it kind of feels like she is sleeping and things will be busy again when she wakes. Its a bit boring to be quite honest. I like being a mom. I like talking to her, playing with her, holding her, snuggling with her. I like fixing her bottles, giving her a bath, changing her clothes. I like putting her lotion on her and the oil in her hair. I like yucky poopy diapers and getting up half asleep to change her diaper and get her a bottle. She had just started eating cereal this week and I was really liking feeding her. I like watching her grow and change. I can't wait to be someone's permanent mom.

I'm going to dye some eggs like Brigita's country does today. I'll post pics if they turn out nicely. They dye the eggs in onion skins and let them dry, sometimes with blades of grass, leaves, or flower petals attached. Sometimes they etch elaborate designs with a sewing needle after they have dried but I don't think I would be so good at that.  Her country then has a game of knocking the egg ends together to see who's egg cracks. The one that doesn't is blessed with a long life. I don't believe in that part but dying eggs doesn't really have much to do with my Easter belief anyway. Its just fun for the kids. I don't remember anything about Jesus dying eggs before he was crucified. Its funny how traditions come around. Her country's traditions are a blend of their pagan heritage and christianity. I really enjoy learning about the culture and cannot wait to see some of the folk traditions when I visit.

Tomorrow my church is having a sunrise service and then the regular 11am service. After church, my family will meet up at my mom's house for Easter dinner and Easter egg hunt. I had looked forward to having Summer with us for this. We already had her Easter dress. This past Wednesday, we got together for a good bye dinner for Summer. My mom fixed lasagne with garlic bread and salad. I got Summer dressed up in her Easter dress (which she spit up all over). She was so beautiful and looked so big. I'm very proud of my little girl. We had a wonderful time hanging out. I wish we could have had her for Easter for real though. I think tomorrow may be a little harder. I always hate being at family functions seeing all the kids but not having any kids of my own. I love kids so much and want so much to be a mom. But, Lord willing, this will be my last Easter without a child. Please continue to pray Brigita will be home soon. I'm working on getting the home study finalized and getting dossier items together. I'm also trying to get some fundraiser things together. I also am going to try to get a list together of what has already been paid for, what is left to be paid for, and the donations that have been received. I have tried to keep up with totals but with multiple fundraisers going on and donations being made in various forms, its gotten hard to keep up with (especially while taking care of an infant and working full time). But things have come together so wonderfully that I know God has already blessed this journey. Thanks everyone! I know ya'll are part of the blessing!

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