My Private Insurance

I had my 2nd Home Study Visit last night!! Yay!! One more thing down. This feels like such a slow process but at the same time, until the funds are available, I guess there is no reason to be in a hurry. I was talking with the Social Worker about my frustrations with the financial piece. If I had been thinking about international adoption (or any other adoption besides fostering to adopt) I would have started preparing before. Well, I guess I was preparing but didn't know it. God always knows when the time is right. See, my house was built in 1971 and was still on oil heat, had the original windows, the insulation was virtually non-existent, as well as many minor issues, etc. I've been living there since 2006. Don't get me wrong, its a great house. But the heating costs were milking me dry every winter. The system would shut off in the middle of the night for no reason. So I would wake up at 2-3am, freezing and have to go outside in the carport closet (which has camel crickets and spiders!) to stretch my short legs/arms to hit the reset button. The oil was so expensive that I would get $400 worth and in less than 2 weeks it would be gone. For the first 3 years, there were several times I went days and even weeks without heat b/c of not having the money. Boy were those miserable times. I sure am glad I had my mom to cry to when I felt so cold and miserable. So anyway, I have been doing so many renovations on my house ever since I moved in. But especially over the last year and half: new heating system, water heater, windows, patio door, insulation, roofing issues, deck. That was my nest egg. I was not looking to adopt. Not like this. Its been a blessing b/c now I have more money throughout the year since I'm not just letting it fly out the window with the heat/air. I'm trying to not let the money worry me, since I know God has directed me in this and I need to just trust Him. But its really hard when you look at how much it will cost and that its due before I can bring my baby home. And its a bit difficult asking people to part with the money that they and their families need to help me and this little girl. I appreciate every cent that has come our way and know these donors did not have to do this. They chose to help and that means so much to me. My social worker pointed out that birth families do not have to pay $24,000 for their child upfront and often have insurance that helps pay for their child. She said instead of feeling like its my responsiblility, I should look at any assistance I get like that. So, I'm looking at my donors as my own private insurance that is helping with the "birth" of my child. Thank you all so very much for any help you are able to give. And I know people out there are praying like crazy because I feel it. I feel so blessed and thank God for placing this in my heart and life. I have met so many wonderful people and seen God's glory in the lives of the families that have gone ahead of me in this journey. To all the mommies of our "Little Miss," I am especially grateful to all of you! Can't wait for ya'll to visit us!