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Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I am trying to get everything in check to do the start up and committment for my little girl, hopefully this week! I'm so excited and eager to move forward. The agency is processing my application now. Please send your prayers that they move forward swiftly. I will have my next and hopefully last home study visit this weekend. I'm just trying to make sure I have everything that I was supposed to get together for that. We have a meeting scheduled for Thursday to talk about Summer's permanent plan. There are at least two relatives that want her. I have prayed about her future and even asked God to let her stay with me but that he would prepare my heart for whatever needs to happen. He has. I know it is in her best interest to be with her family. Now I pray it will come soon, for Summer's benefit. The transition will be easier but also the family is missing out on so many beautiful moments. Summer is so blessed to have family willing and able to give her a home. I will no doubt miss her (and cry) but I will be okay because God has done as I have asked. I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to parent a newborn, watch her grow, and help nurture her. But I feel she is not mine to keep. I feel this as strongly as I know God has told me this little one in Eastern Europe is meant to be my daughter. So, I will continue to love Summer and enjoy all the blessings of her while she's here. Then I will lovingly send her to the home God has designated for her. I have been so blessed. This is the life of a foster parent. Thankfully God has prepared me for this all my life. I have always wanted to foster and adopt, as well as work in this field. I remember going to the library at school, searching for child welfare and learning what I could about it. I was drawn to TV shows, movies, books, etc about child abuse and child welfare. I always knew this is where I needed to be. He gave me parents that also tried to help others, especially my mom. If it wasn't for her staying to help with Summer a couple times a week, I don't know what condition I would be in now. I also know working in child protective services, being a clinical social worker, fostering, and the trainings involved with being a foster parent has prepared me to parent this little girl from EE and help her grow and develop into the person God would like her to be. Every day I am filled with so much gratitude for the things in my life. I would not be who I am without the opportunities, family, friends, coworkers, etc I have had throughout my life (yes, even the hard times). And I know God has been the orchestrator of all these things and for that I am most grateful. The more I place Him in the center of my life, the more I see and understand these blessings.