I'm leaving!!!!! On a big ol' jet airliner....

Tomorrow's the day! I leave to go back to Brigita's country for her adoption hearing! I'm so excited. I cannot wait until she is officially my daughter. Of course, there is a 20 day appeal period that we have to wait before Brigita and I both travel back to finalize everything. But still...Monday is such an important day for us! It will be her official adoption day!

Please visit the link below if you would like to purchase some Pampered Chef products to help us out with some of the travel expenses for the last trip. The consultant has graciously offered her entire commission to our FSP!

Pampered Chef for Dee and Brigita!

Brigita is doing okay. She is still struggling with ear infections and so we are waiting for a surgery date (again) to put tubes in (for real this time). I will be so glad. Every time she gets an infection, her behaviors regress and of course she is in pain. She is now making a gesture of someone lifting her chin up sometimes. I think she is mimicking me lifting her chin to help her with her medication. She doesn't always lift her head up to drink. So, I think she is letting me know she needs medicine. And of course there are behavioral cues when her pain meds have worn off: covering her ears, screaming, grumping and groaning, hitting herself in the face :(

When she starts to feel better, she is such a loving, sweet girl. She starts learning new things and doing things. And then she gets sick again...and regresses. I'm so tired of this cycle.

Please keep us in your prayers this weekend through Wednesday. I leave tomorrow, have court on Monday, and leave Tuesday morning. I will land around 7pm Tuesday night and already can't wait to see Brigita! Please pray for Brigita during this time as well. This is our first time apart and she will also be with people that have kept her short term but never long and definitely not overnight. She is such a strong little girl that I feel like she will be fine. And she's with good people! But, you just can't tell what separation will do when having a family is so new to you.

In addition to the ear infection, baby girl had a tummy bug. She slept nearly all day. We enjoyed lots of snuggling together.

Stretching

She LOVES her keyboard!

She got 2 cakes: one with me and Aunt Liz and one with my family

She climbed all up on this tall bed by herself after watching her cousins one time

Heart Sunday @ church! Her hair has gotten long enough for pigtails!

Don't let her fool you...every last puzzle piece was promptly thrown

Again, she LOVES the keyboard!

Playing with a doll. Hasn't she gotten so big?

Oh, we had her school assessment with the School for the Deaf (partly b/c it was scheduled prior to us knowing she had basically no hearing loss and partly b/c our school system had no idea how to evaluate a child with no communication). They will send me the results soon. The biggest thing that came out was that 2 different people there have mentioned concerns about her vision. They do not think she is focusing correctly and not seeing things well. They have recommended another doctor (not sure if he's an ophthamologist or optometrist yet). They are writing a letter so I can send to the insurance company so I will hopefully not have to pay for it since she has already had one examination already. Also, they said sign language will likely not be her main way to communicate due to dexterity and vision concerns. They believe she is an auditory communicator. Also, in terms of communicating, we have been working on saying "mama" which is a sound Brigita actually makes sometimes but not trying to say the name. Anyway, Brigita is starting to try to mimick me saying it! Then today I was saying "nana" and she copied me! She also signed "milk" last night while drinking her milk. She even stopped drinking to watch herself sign it. My big girl! She makes mama proud so many times per day!

Happy 8th Birthday, Brigita! (and an adoption date!)

Today is such an important day for me. I've been talking with Brigita about this day for a couple of weeks. We have been singing Happy Birthday already and talking about blowing out candles. My niece and I tried showing her how with dandeelions yesterday. Last year, I was praying and celebrating Brigita's last birthday as an orphan and in an institution. Though she is still technically an orphan, she really isn't. Brigita knows love. She knows a family. She knows that even if this mama has crazy mama moments one minute, she will be snuggling and loving her the next. She is beginning to see that if she gets hurts, I will try to make it better. We were playing on her bed yesterday (she has moved into her own room!) and she ended up hitting her leg on the foot board. She winced and rubbed it, but I immediately swooped in and started making it a big deal. Kissing her leg and rubbing it myself. Brigita laughed! She thought mom's reaction was so funny. But at the same time, she lifted her foot towards me. She sought me out for more. I explained to her that mommies kiss boo boos and make them better. Right now, she is still sleeping as its 1am here. I can't sleep b/c I'm so excited. I have already decorated her chair and hung the Happy Birthday banner. I meant to hang streamers and thought we had some but apparently I don't. I will pick them up tomorrow on my lunch break. We are going to have spaghetti (her favorite) and cake tonight. We will also have a family celebration this weekend for her real party. I will post pics of her when she is actually awake on her birthday later.

Ignore the tinkerbell! We will be getting her a lady bug bed set after we have completely finished with the adoption.

But look at her sleeping in her big girl room!

Tonight has also gotten me thinking of her birth mom and of her actual day of birth. I can't imagine how she must have felt, having had a few miscarriages already and expecting to have a "normal" child. Only, when Brigita was born, her mom would have likely been told of all the "bad" things about Down syndrome. Brigita was born with a rather large hole in her heart (ventricular septal defect). Brigita had jaundice and its likely safe to say that her mother was told Brigita was a sick baby and would likely not live. I can't imagine what her mom was feeling, leaving her baby behind in the hospital. She certainly wasn't old but was nearing her child-bearing years. I'm not sure if she went on to have more children or not. I hope if she truly yearned for Brigita, that she was blessed to have another baby that was healthy. I hate that she was unable to take Brigita home and see what a wonderful little girl she has become. I can only imagine how much more wonderful she would have been with the right love and care from the start. When Brigita was born, there was no school or day care available for children with special needs in her country. The medical care system now is one of the worst in the EU, so I can only imagine what it was like 8 years ago. I hope one day if her mother would like to know what happened to her child, what became of her, that she and I would be able to make that connection. I do not fault her in any way for leaving Brigita in the hospital. Though I do hope it was a hard decision for her. I know that may be wrong of me to wish, but for Brigita, I hope there was pain in leaving her behind. And I pray one day she can see the beauty and life in this wonderful little girl!


 Love my mommy and daughter moments! I think Brigita does too!



And I cannot believe I have not posted yet....but I did receive our adoption court date!! I will have court on February 25th! In God's great glory, this date is also the anniversary of my father's passing (when I was 19) AND the date of my uncle's birthday, who only recently passed away. I am so glad to always remember him on this date as well!

Doesn't she have the cuteest little hands?

They look like her mama's, tiny with short stubby fingers.

 

Really, mama? Another picture?

 

 

Still enjoys swinging! Even on cold days

(though it was only 50-something degrees here today)

 

Down syndrome clinic

We had our first appointment at the Down syndrome clinic last week. It didn't start off like a good day. The drove from our home takes 1 hour and 20 minutes. At an hour and a half, we were still an hour away. It was raining and therefore there were wrecks. There was one wreck that really put us behind. I called the numbers provided to the people to schedule appointments as that was the only numbers in the packet of information. Now our appointment was with the neuro-developmentalist. But it was with the Ds clinic. I had to leave a message on the first voice mail. A lady answered the other number and wanted to know where I got their number in relation to Dr. _____. Except she said it really snotty like "and you got this number from where?" I told her it was in the packet of information they sent me for this appointment. So someone called me back a little later and said the doctor said to come on but we would have to wait to be fitted in. So we trecked on. For about 45 minutes we were traveling 20-25 mph on the interstate. By this time, we had met commuter morning traffic. We were stop and go and 25 mph. If any of you have ever ridden with me, you would understand how horrible this was to me. We finally arrived an hour after our appointment and had to wait 1 hour and 45 minutes to be squeezed in. But a foster parent and a licensing worker/foster care worker were at the hospital for another clinic. Its always good to see faces you know. I saw several cuties sporting the extra chromosomes come in and out. They all walked in waving like they knew everyone was expecting them. But another thing I noticed was a common phrase from all the parents...."gentle." Apparently hitting is not just an institutionalized thing but a Ds thing. I spoke with one mom about this and she said yes. Also, Brigita was not the only runner. Several of us had to take off after our little ones. After one doctor examined Brigita and talked with me a bunch, she and the doctor we were there to see consulted and then met with me and Brigita. They said that although Brigita has many autistic behaviors, she is definitely not autistic. They said she needs speech therapy (which I knew) and some behavior modification (which we're working on). Follow ups with the specialists we have already been seeing and school assistance and therapies. He said Brigita's GI is one of the bests! And he said that we are doing everything right and that she is doing fantastic. She has good muscle tone and this is getting better as she becomes more active. So, unless there is a problem, we do not come back for a year. Oh, the doctors were also impressed with how much she vocalizes. I guess I hadn't really thought about that too much, but Brigita does make a lot of noises and sounds. This weekend I think she started talking back to me LOL! I wouldn't let her do something so she stormed off down the hall, making a noise while throwing her arm up in the air and stomping one foot. She did it again this morning when she didn't get her way. I suppose I shouldn't think its cute but it was cute. She is also dancing more and more. She likes ballet. Still waiting to get a court date but also planning her BIRTHDAY PARTY!! February 5th, Brigita will be 8 years old!! I'm so excited. I had a celebration for her last year and prayed that would be her last birthday in her institution. Although her adoption is not finalized, God still granted my wish! I am so thankful and love this little girl more than words can express.

I800 received!

That's right!! I received my provisional I800 approval. Now we wait for the paperwork to be wired to the Embassy and them to issue the Article 5. After that I should have a court date!! I can't wait. Though that means not having Brigita with me for a few days :( She's been with me every day since September (aside from when I'm working). I am not looking forward to being away from her but it will only be for a few days.

Brigita is doing okay. She has had yet another ear infection. Whenever she gets sick, her behaviors regress!! She has been so oppositional and naughty for at least a week now! She hits herself on the side of her head more, bites herself, bites other more than usual, and tests EVERYTHING! She LOVES negative attention! I find myself sometimes caught in a cycle with her and I finally have to just walk off and ignore the behavior to get it to stop. It didn't help that I had to work 12-9pm last week so our schedule was way off. We went back to the ENT and the Dr. said she wishes she had put tubes in while they were doing the surgery. We are going to try an allergy nasal spray for a month. If she gets another ear infection in that month, then we're going to go back to surgery and put tubes in this time.

Brigita is growing so much! She grown a few inches and gained about 7 lbs since Sept. And she's basically grown a whole shoe size. Her cute little feet are getting bigger. Her hair is getting longer and she is actually noticing things! Yesterday, she noticed clouds! It was so cute. She kept trying to lay on the ground and look up but the sun was too bright. She has started wanting to swing in the big girl swings more. Though it gives mama about 50 heart attacks, I let her do it and constantly tell her to hold on and put her hands back on the chain. Mostly she does well. Physically, she is more coordinated and stronger. It is so neat watching her develop. We still have problems with her not knowing how to play or showing interest in playing at times.

Okay, so here's a few pics...

 

Brigita gets her hat and puts it on when she wants to go outside to the swing set. She actually sat still and let me take a few pictures. She even looked at the camera. Usually, she does everything in her power to avoid it.

 

This is how she first started playing on the big girl swing

 

Unfortunately she put the swing too low on her tummy and rolled right over

 

 

Enjoying unusually warm temperatures of 73 degrees! See how long her hair is! We did pig tails (My fav!!)

 

On the big girl swing! I have two swings, one put as low as possible and the other a little higher. She prefers the higher one. My dare-devil.

 

But the baby swing is still the best :)

 

First Christmas!

Brigita is doing fantastic! She amazes me with how well she is doing. It feels like every time one thing "clicks" for her, something else does as well. We are finally finished with the 3rd ear infection (the first 2 were both double ear infections) and a very heavy antibiotic that delivered poop everywhere! Then, as it quickly left her body she immediately was constipated again. So frustrating but the Miralax is kicking in again.

Last week as I was getting her bath together, I said the word "bath" but did not sign it. I turned the water on and when I turned to look at her, Brigita was signing "bath" completely on her own! I was ecstatic! She is also trying to sign parts of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." She was watching a video of little girl signing "Jesus Loves Me" and signed "yes" with the little girl. When we go outside, after swinging, she will explore the fort part of the swing set and also walk around the yard a little, even going to check out the dogs. Previously she was almost oblivious to anything else existing. She gives me kisses, laughs more, plays with the beach ball by herself, and snuggles a lot. She loves for me to hold her and will laugh when I pick her up or snuggle her against me. She is appropriately oppositional at times and testing boundaries. We are working on learning to be gentle with toys and not just throwing everything. Also, part of our educational time is learning how to play. I literally have to show her over and over again how to roll a car, put things in and out of boxes, etc. I never realized how much we teach kids gradually as they grow. We repeat, repeat, repeat everything, every day.

We had a wonderful Christmas. Brigita was completely overwhelmed with the activity at my mom's house and wanted to just hit and bite everyone. Eventually, I introduced her to an empty bin where she was the happiest little girl for quite some time. She was pretty uninterested in what Santa and mama got her. But she did sit in my lap while I unwrapped gifts and tried to show her and get her interested. Then she just wanted to throw them. She did let me read books she received to her.

Today we were playing with a board puzzle she received. It has 5 animals on it. I was showing her the animal, doing the sign for the animal and making the animal sound. She mimicked me making the "baa" for a goat and the "quack" for a duck! This is awesome. When I call my cats, she will sometimes make a noise that seems to mimick me calling "kitty kitty." Brigita also blew a kiss today. I am so proud of her. She is a remarkable child and such a pleasure. I love her so much and am so proud to be her mom!

So, here's few pictures...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another update

Brigita and I have had a lot going on since the last update.

First, Brigita had her surgery to drain fluid from her ears, put tubes in, and complete a sedated hearing test. Turns out there was no fluid, so no tubes needed and she can hear! Not hearing impaired at all!

Before surgery

Before surgery

Waking up

Waiting for surgery. Brigita played with one of these for the first time!! We've tried before but she only threw it. She quickly picked up on moving the beads around and played for about 10 minutes.

 

 

Next, we had Thanksgiving with the family...good food, good company, and a pile of leaves!!

 

 

 

Thanksgiving weekend, we got our Christmas Tree!

 





(This is not the completed look, but I haven't taken another picture yet)

 

 

Then, we went to see the pediatric gastro specialist. We haven't gotten any answers yet, but had to do another cleanout (Brigita was given one partial clean out by enema in country; then in October I had to do 3 at-home enemas within a 24 hour period; now she's backed up again). Can't show you how big her belly got due to some inappropriate parts showing. But trust me, it was swollen! Like one of those seedless watermelons under her skin. So we had a long morning @ Duke but then spent some time with Aunt Liz and Canon that afternoon.

 

Licking the pinwheel

Even Canon is curious about the Pinwheel



The clean out process this time was to give her large doses of Miralax and a laxative. Poor baby. I felt like such an abusive mom mixing her drinks and knowing it would make her sick. Brigita is such a trooper! She hung in their Saturday and Sunday did so well we went to see her first parade.

While we were standing there I noticed a smell not like exhaust fumes...she had a full explosion all over this outfit and the stroller. Luckily mom was prepared with another outfit in the diaper bag.

 

 

After the parade we went to Grandma's house for Grandpa Garry's birthday. Brigita did not feel good after eating. Her tummy was very bloated still. So off we went home to put on our christmas jammies. See the little buddha belly? Not super big but big enough considering we had a clean out :(

 

 

Brigita tossed and turned most of the night with her swollen belly. But a massive poop at 12:45am helped bring that melon tummy down! She looks pitiful laying on the kitchen floor, but has a normal belly! Brigita wouldn't even eat for nearly 2 hours after waking. She usually demands food upon waking. I stayed home with her today. She has been so sleepy and weak. She's still napping now and has had plenty of pedialyte and some food.

 

I now have to wake her up and get her ready to go meet with the Exceptional Children's specialists as well as someone from the School for the Deaf in order to start the assessment process for school. Hope she wakes up happy and is nice and behaved while we are there.

 

Overall, Brigita is doing great! She is very healthy. She is becoming interested in signs: knows "eat" well and occassionally does other signs. She understands so much that is said to her. She is hitting and biting less but still pushing and throwing her toys. She is very snuggly and is loving some momma time!! I love me some baby time too!! She is a wonderfully, resilient, strong little girl! I'm so grateful to be her mom!