Saving One Child At A Time: Auction-Leap Frog Tag Junior Book Reader

Saving One Child At A Time: Auction-Leap Frog Tag Junior Book Reader: Leap Frog Tag Junior Book Reader Donated by: Elizabeth Cole Starting bid: $15.00 Increments:    $1.00   Value $35.00

Saving One Child At A Time: Boys gift set

Saving One Child At A Time: Boys gift set:  Boys gift set-6 padded hangers, bib, hat, mittens, and booties. Donated by: Christina Ruegamer Schye Starting Bid: $7.00 Increments:  $...

Saving One Child At A Time: Saving Brigita---AUCTION!!!!!!

Saving One Child At A Time: Saving Brigita---AUCTION!!!!!!: In a previous post, I told you I found a little girl who had my heart.  I thought I was supposed to adopt her.  Turns out, I wasn't.  This c...

Heavy Heart

This weekend has been filled with bits of a heavy heart and saddness. I know my time with Summer is drawing shorter and shorter. I am so sadden by this. I love her so much and would love to see her grow up. I was in the pharmacy the other day and there was a little boy about 2yo with a head full of beautiful hair like Summer's. All I could think about was that I would not get to see what she looks like as a toddler, preschooler, etc. I am glad she is going to be with her family and I am grateful that I have had this time with her. But it is very hard. Summer likes to be sung to and a song that always reminded me of her b/c of the name (I tell her she's my Summer Sunshine)is "You are my Sunshine." Last night I was singing this to her and one of the verses says "the other night, dear, while I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, and I hung my head and I cried." I couldn't sing it last night without crying and I am sitting here crying now. One day soon she will not be in my arms and I will never get to hold her again. Not only am I sad for me but I am sad for her. I can't stop thinking about what she will think. Will she think I abandoned her? That I didn't want her? I know she knows me and loves me. I know she recognizes me as momma and different from other people. I know she is glad to see me and hear my voice. Will she wonder where I have gone and why? Part of me wishes it would just happen already so I can go ahead and move one. The other part of course is grateful that I had more time with her. But its gonna be hard for both of us whenever the time comes.

Grieving for Summer makes me want to see my Brigita soon. I am anxious to meet her, spend time with her, and bring her home. I guess the high of seeing her on the video has crashed and I'm back in the surreal world of how far away she is, how much money separates us, the many months we have until I can travel, and the slowness of this part of the adoption process. I'm still waiting for my homestudy to be completed. But getting my blog button and seeing Brigita's beautiful smile helps with that some.

Also on my mind are some personal issues with loved ones. I initially wrote more about this but decided it felt too personal. I'll just say that my thoughts are consumed with this issue and my heart aches. I have seen where other adoptive families have had similar issues. I hope this is all it is, but it still saddens me.

I saw a quote on someone's blog today that resonated with me. It went something like this...

"From the outside looking in, you will never understand. From the inside looking out, you can never explain."

Auction Ends Feb. 11th!!

Christina is hosting an auction to benefit Brigita. She had actually already planned to do an auction for Brigita before she found out I was committing, etc. So, now the auction is going towards the adoption!! We have not had a lot of interest or bids yet and are coming near the end. The auction will end February 11th!

Could you please go to the link, check out the items, and bid on something. There are several home made items, leap frog stuff, jewelry, and Ipod Shuffle, and much more. We are hoping to get at least 1 bid on every item. These will make great birthday gifts for people in your life!

Also, could you please share the link with your friends, family, or coworkers, on facebook, or on your blogs?

Thanks for your help and support!

Happy 7th Birthday!

Today is Brigita's 7th birthday! I am so excited for her (well, us) because this will be her last birthday as an orphan! Next year we will be having cake, ice cream, balloons, and presents together with our family and friends. She will blow out her candles and open her very own gifts. Instead of wearing the community-shared orphan clothes, she will be wearing her very own clothes. She will begin and end her birthday with special kisses from her mommy.

But this adoption is not just about her. Next year on this day, I will have a daughter who is celebrating her birthday. I will get to plan, decorate, and host a birthday party for my little girl. I will get to buy presents and invite guests. I will get to have special kisses from my little girl. I will get to buy her clothes, fix her hair, help her heal and grow. Next year February 5th will likely mean more to me than it will to her. Since it will be her first birthday in a family and perhaps the first time it has ever been celebrated, she will likely not even understand what is going on. But I will. I'm so excited about what the rest of this year will bring for us. This adoption will be a new life for both of us. I cannot wait to have my daughter home with me and to start our life as a family. I can't wait to be her mommy!

New Committment Page

Yay! We've made it to the New Committment Page! We would have been here soon but me in my excellent forgetfulness failed to fax off one of the most important forms. I was flipping through my notebook and happened to see where I had written down the directions so I could check them off as I completed them. Guess it would have been helpful had I actually checked it off. Makes this journey seem more real and achieveable! I'm getting closer to making this adoption a reality and couldn't be happier!