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Thursday, September 6, 2012
9/5/12 Orphan court went okay yesterday. I was given guardianship of Brigita however, they want us to keep her until 09/21/11. This is 17 days of bonding time, which is ridiculous. 10-14 days is all they ever do. And it means at least $600 more for airfare changes as well as money towards the lodging and food. Hopefully this will be changed. The judges (I guess that’s what they are) had many questions about how I would handle Brigita’s hitting. To me, its not a big deal. She is not aggressive. She thinks its funny, she is doing it for attention, and its just like kids going to daycare learning negative behaviors except she is around it at all times, no one has the time to address the issues, and they don’t think she can really learn anyway. Yesterday Liz and I went into Riga to get Brigita some clothes. We managed to get on the right number train and on the right track home, but it was retiring for the night and another had taken over. So we drove about a quarter of a mile and then the train stopped, the lights dimmed, and then went out. We had to bust out of the boxcar (I know, dramatic, we simply opened the door), jumped down on the tracks and walk back the quarter of a mile. It was funny. We made sure we were not the first or only ones to get on the next train. Poor Brigita had to drive for 4 hours. She was a trooper though. I don’t think we could have asked her to handle it better. She of course got really restless the last 2 hours. It was past both her dinner time and bed time and she had been sitting in a car for basically 2 hours with total strangers. She is usually in bed at 8pm but it was after 10pm last night. She slept well though. She loves a bath!! She lays all in it, completely submerged and likes for me to splash water on whatever is not covered by the water. You have to drain the water out and still pick her up to get her out. She is an amazing little girl! It makes me so sad to see the behaviors and oddities she has developed in order to stimulate and soothe herself. She rocks often and likes to dangle things in front of her face. She sucks on her clothes and stuffed animals. She tries to suck on her thumb but her tongue is so big she mostly ends up chewing on her thumb. Tonight she was tired and not feeling well and proceeded to hit herself quite hard on both sides of her face and head for over 2 hours. However, she was also coming to me to “fix” it for her and help soothe her. She is funny and her personality is coming out more and more. And its only been 24 hours. I am going to miss her so much! I pray that the process is completed by Christmas but there is a definite possibility that it could be February. This makes me so sad on so many levels. I love her so much and just want her to be home where she can get some medical care and attention. Her little stomach is so distended and she has gas (and let me tell you they stink!) all the time. Her tonsils and ears also need checking out. I don’t think her tonsils are infected necessarily but they are definitely obvious. Her teeth could be worse but she has several cavities and damage from excessive grinding. Brigita likes to snuggle and loves to swing. She likes the stroller and has done well walking hand in hand when I’ve allowed it. She is strong willed, stubborn, and independent. Most of her smiles and laughs are more mischevious. But I have gotten to see some sweet smiles too. She thinks she’s hilarious by the way! I think she is too! Though she is bigger than I expected, she is not as big as she seemed initially. I was expecting a small, petite 3T and what I got was a very big 4/5. 09/06/12 Brigita is fantastic! I love this little girl so much. She follows me around, wants to snuggle, and loves to play. She is learning time out today. We have realized that she is much more aware of what she is doing than given credit for. She has spent several times in time out today (with me standing there of course). She will even check to see if I am looking and if not will try to get up. But when I turn around, she’ll plop right back down. She even knows to give hugs afterwards. Again, she is fantastic! She has beautiful skin like porcelain and big brown eyes. I can’t imagine being with her another week or so and then not seeing her again for months. When she lays beside me at night, she smiles and smiles like she’s so happy to be there and for me to be there with her. She follows me around the apartment and if I look like I’m going out, she comes to grab my hand. She is eating and drinking okay and using the potty, though she doesn’t tell you she needs to go or anything. She would bathe every time the door is open if I let her. Well, I’m cold and been away from her for a little while. I have to come outside to use the internet so I’m not able to get on often without being away from Darya and leaving everyrthing to Liz. I’m going to try my hand at adding a video of Brigita doing one of her stemming behaviors. She had an "episode" yesterday evening of hitting herself for about 2 hours. She clearly didn't feel good and just wanted to be held and snuggled but couldn't stop hitting herself. I gave her some tylenol and just held her. After she ate and got a bath it completely subsided. It was pitiful. It was like having a child whining when they don't feel good but instead she was hitting. But she wanted mama.
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It's heart warming and sad at the same time, Dee. I'm so thankful y'all love each other and just love the fact that she's so happy to have you lay beside her at night. She's really grateful to have finally met her Mama. I just hope that once you get her home and settled that you can somehow help her unlearn those negative behaviors, especially the part where she actually hits herself. I look forward to meeting the newest member of the family. I also think your friend is right... you do have extensive experience as a social worker and clearly you can demonstrate that you realize what the issues are and how you plan to address them. Surely, the court can see that you're a perfect fit for Brigita and should send your baby on home with you.ReplyDelete
Holy Moly I can't believe this is really happening! You are perfect together! I can't wait to meet you and see Darya again. she has grown so much and looks so good. I am so glad you "get" her behaviors and it doesn't freak you out. I knew there was so much more in that little girl than anyone else saw:) i am so happy you see it too. Hug her and kiss her for her Auntie Kelly and tell her I love her and have thought about her every day for the last 2 1/2 years! Good luck with court; hopefully they will push it through faster for both you and the Kirkland's! I mailed the benefit checks to RR for your FSP finally so it should be moving soon!ReplyDelete