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Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Time coming to an end with Summer
My beautiful Summer Sunshine will be leaving me very soon. I have some mixed feelings about her leaving of course. She is truly the sweetest baby and she has been a constant part of my life for the past 3 months. Having her with me has been such a blessing and I am so glad God allowed me this time with her. But, I knew Summer would not stay forever and actually had expected her to be gone before now. I will desperately miss her and I am already anticipating how weird it will be to not have her and her stuff at my house. But Summer does not belong to me. I was only granted the opportunity to help her get a great start in life. I must say, I've done my job well and been a great temporary mom (if I do say so myself). Summer is a very pleasant, easy going baby. She loves everyone, connects well with people, and trusts easily. I know some of this is a part of her personality but some of this is because I was able to provide what she needed in life. I probably over-responded some. But every time I was taking care of her, I would think about what my Brigita and the other abandoned babies did not get. I want her to always know she is loved, she is wanted, and she matters. No matter how good an orphanage is, there just isn't enough resources to give every child what they need. That is why the US started foster care and why I chose to be a foster parent. These children need someone that can take care of them as a parent until their place in this world is decided. Summer has a wonderful family. They are biological relatives. She will be so loved. They will give her everything I would want her to have and more. I have no doubt she will be treated like the princess she is. She will have an older brother who at 7yo is already marking off things he is willing to give up doing so he can help take care of her. He dreams of her being with their family. He was a foster child and adopted into this family. I can tell by how great he is what an excellent job they did as parents. Summer will have contact with her biological parents sometimes and has a biological brother (not this little boy) that she will get to know. It is by far the best situation for her and I am so thankful for this family, her mother who supports this placement, and DSS for doing the best job they could for her and me. We are doing visits to include weekend over nights so she will get to know the family more before she leaves. But in mid-April, she will cease to be my foster child, my beautiful baby girl. I cannot imagine not seeing those beautiful eyes and that smile that lights up her whole face like a ray of sunshine. I will grieve but I will also rejoice. I will use what she has helped teach me to be the parent that Brigita needs. To know what Brigita should have had to help her grow, develop, and thrive. I have had lots of experience with newborns but never parented a newborn. I firmly believe God allowed me this time so that I could understand the bonding cycle, the cycle of needs, the need for consistency and patience. God is so great if we will listen and trust in Him. I have prayed for Him to prepare my heart and comfort me as Summer leaves and He has already been doing this for some time. I have also prayed for Summer every day, multiple times a day. And I know He has already been providing for Summer. He directs me and I am willing to follow Him.